Thursday, September 28, 2006
Posted by: "brother_farrukh" farrukh@ntlworld. com brother_farrukh
Tue Sep 26, 2006 10:02 am (PST)
Assalam alaikum,
Allah Almighty says in Surah Lukman (31: verse 14) "And We have
enjoined upon man to be dutiful to his parents. His mother bore him in
weakness and hardship, in weakness and hardship"
Allah Almighty continues in the same verse, "Give thanks to Me and to
your parents, and to Me is your final return"
Prophet Muhammad's father died before he was born and his mother died
when he was six. He was therefore unable to be dutiful to them.
However throughout his life he encouraged kind treatment of parents.
When a man came to the Prophet and asked who was most worthy of his
company, the Prophet replied, his mother. When he asked who next was
worthy of his company, again the prophet replied, his mother. Again
the man asked the same question, and again the prophet said his
mother. But when the man asked for the fourth time the prophet said,
his father. There can be no doubt over the position of respect and
honour the Prophet gave to the mother.
After the Prophet Muhammad had died, a female beggar with her two
young sons approached Aisha, his wife, asking for something to eat. At
the time, Aisha only had three dates at her home which she gave to
them. Each of the children put a date in their mouth and the mother
put one in hers. As the children finished eating their dates they
looked up at their mother who removed the date from her mouth,
separated it into two pieces and gave them to each of her sons.
Witnessing the event Aisha burst into tears.
Similarly respect was given to women in early Islam in ways which many
Muslims today cannot even comprehend. Baihaqi reports an incident
where a woman named Khola was in the company of a group of people, one
of whom was Caliph Umar. As the company got up to move, the men of the
Quraish stood standing and Umar approached Khola. He leaned towards
her and put his hands on her shoulders listening to what she had to
say until such time as she had finished what she wanted to say. As she
left one of the men went to Umar and complained `O leader of the
Muslims, the men of the Quraish have been made to wait for that old
woman' his meaning was that the Quraish being the most prideful
tribe should never have to wait for anyone, let alone a woman. Hearing
this complaint, Umar retained his calm and said `I feel sorry for you.
Do you even know who that woman was?' When the man replied in the
negative, Umar said `That is the woman who complained to Allah and
Allah heard her complaint from above the seven heavens. That woman is
Khuwaylah bint Thalabah! By Allah! Had she not left me for the whole
night I would have not left her (and left you, men of the Quraish
standing, waiting), I would not leave her until I had fulfilled her
needs!' (* see Note below)
Nothing even begins to come close to the sacrifice a mother makes for
her children, and may Allah Almighty make us all good sons and
daughters to our parents, especially our mothers, amen.
* Note: The first four verses of Surah al-Mujadilah (58) were revealed
in this connection
Khuwaylah said, "By Allah! Allah has send down the beginning of Surah
al-Mujadilah in connection with me and Aws ibn as-Samit. He was my
husband and had grown old and difficult. One day, he came to me and I
argued with him about something and he said, out of anger, `You are
like m mothers back to me' then he went and sat with some of his
friends.
(This phrase was an old pagan custom, a way men would divorce their
women, he said this despite both of them being Muslims)
When he came back he wanted to have sexual intercourse with me and I
said `No, by the One in Whose Hand is the soul of Khuwaylah! You will
not have your way with me after you have said what you just said,
until Allah and His Messenger issue judgment in our case'. He wanted
to have his way regardless of my choice so I pushed him away. I then
went to one of my neigbors, borrowed a garment from her and went to
the Prophet telling him of the bad way in which my husband treated me.
The Prophet said, `O Khuwaylah, your husband is an old man, so have
the piety of God and patience with him'(but she stayed and disputed
with the Prophet stating that what her husband did was not right,
unfair and he should not be able to treat her that way).
She continued to say, By Allah! Before I left the Prophets company,
parts of the Quran were revealed about me. Allah's Messenger felt the
hardship which he usually felt when he received a revelation,, then he
said to me `O Khuwaylah! Allah has revealed something about you and
your spouse'
Then he recited: "Indeed Allah has heard the statement of the woman
who disputes with you with regards to her husband and complains to
Allah. And Allah hears the argument between you both. Verily Allah is
the All-Hearing the All-Seeing" up until the end of verse 4 of this
chapter.
The Prophet then said to her, `Command him to free a slave' (by way of
compensation for acting unjustly towards you) but Khuwaylah said, `O
Allah's messenger, he does not have any to free'
He then said, `Let him fast for two months consecutively' but again
Khuwaylah intervened saying `By Allah, he is an old man and cannot fast'
Then he said, `Let him feed 60 poor people a camel load full of dates'
to which she said, `O Allah's messenger, he does not have any dates'
Then he said, `I will help him and give him a basket of dates' to
which Khuwaylah said, And I, O Messenger, will help him by giving him
another basket of dates'
The Prophet then said, `You have done a righteous deed (by helping
your husband atone for his sin/ the way he mistreated you). So go and
give away the dates on his behalf and resolve the disagreement with
your husband'. She then went to do that.
[The account above was recorded by Ahmad 6/ 410 and by Abu Dawood in
hi Book of Divorce 2/ 662, 664]
The accounts above show a number of issues:
1. That the Prophet was approachable by both men and women to listen
and address their concerns
2. When the prophet made an error and told her to be mindful of Allah
and return to her husband Allah intervened, corrected the misjudgement
and told the Prophet how to address the situation
3. That she was able to pay out of her own wealth for a basket of
dates to match the Prophets donation of a basket of dates shows that
she was an independent woman who had her own wealth which she
controlled irrespective of the obligation her husband had to look
after her financially
4. That after the Prophet died women were still able to approach the
Muslim rulers and did so without objection, and in the case with
Caliph Umar he respected her more so than he respected a group of
impatient men from the Quraish
5. Interaction between genders in early Islam is not limited,
controlled, or held back by a series of additional conditions which
seem to be placed on gender interaction today how many Muslim ruler
men would go to a woman citizen of state, place both hands on her
shoulders and address her concerns until they were met?
May Allah Almighty have mercy and increase us all in knowledge,
understanding and appreciation of the true values of faith, amen!
In the protection of Allah, with peace
~~*posted on*~~ Thursday, September 28, 2006
