Friday, June 15, 2007
With only two papers of one subject left, let KR take time to blog a bit....
Ooh it is not fun to come to the end of the exams. Simply because KR loves to have soo much time to study at her own pace and convenience, not that she's so good at optimizing the opportunity granted by the Almighty. ~one sigh there~
KR's been thinking that she must be a dyslexic. A normal person does not have an attention span of 1.5minutes does she? Worse still, a normal straight-minded person knows that she's carrying the BIG MASSIVE responsibility of studying for the sake of her deen. ~sigh no2 there~
KR's been thinking, this concentrating issue could not be trivial. People have issue concentrating in studying, in reciting the quran, in remembering Him, in this and that (cant think of any because KR cant concentrate now, fill in the blanks for her thankyou) and the biggest problemo is difficulty concentrating in solat. Even the companions of the prophet were aware of this, and surprise surprise, they too were trying their best to concentrate in solat. But KR can say with certainty, as least khusyuk as they were pon, there was even a companion who got an arrow drawn out of his leg during his solat, because he knew he'd be so absorbed in his solat that he would not feel the pain. Nana nana nana mane comparable to our un-khusyuk-ness. Like heaven and earth. (ohh KR cant think of any of the companions names because of concentration issue again). As far as the topic's concern, it has been discussed since the era of the prophet and his companions, and it's a relief to know KR's not alone in facing the issue. It must be something behind this issue that Allah makes His slaves struggle to achieve it, even the best of his slaves did, did KR not mention? There must be a certain kind of jihad that He wants us to pull through, to declare the true war against the whispers of the satans, to break free from own hawa', as He made us struggle to be khusyu' everyday. To add more pieces to the incomplete jigsaw of this mystery, He made us ask from Him for qalban khosyia' everyday, did He not? Grant me qalban khosyia' o Allah
It's hateful to think about how much effort that have been put in everything that KR's done. Yet, the outcomes that He made KR rejoiced in have never been comparable to her effort. Oh, they could never be. It's despicable to know how KR never tried hard enough. For the thought that He always gives MORE than what KR deserves makes KR feel bad. KR can never NEVER EVER thank him enough. Worse still, KR still demand for this and that, and dream of His magnificent heaven? And He even wants to bestow KR the heaven for exchange of KR's soul, that is HIS?! Owned by HIM!How more zalim can KR be to herself o Lord, o Allah, o the Almighty!!!
KR needs to study!
Enough is Allah as your motivation! Ok. InshaAllah. KR wants to thank this wonderful ukhti (who always needed Ronald McDonald as her shoes-shopping advisor) named *** for suddenly memberi semangat untuk belajar. What a perfect timing that was. It surely did pump KR up. Ah well, manusia is manusia. As much as a manusia claims to be occay on her own, no one can live alone without being lonely. No one can go to war alone without someone else reminding, encouraging, and supporting. No one can be semangat sorang-sorang. When they say behind every successful man is a woman, what's there behind a woman? KR onced jokingly said "her spine". Naahh, she has Allah =)
~~*posted on*~~ Friday, June 15, 2007
