Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I find it very hard lately to speak. Weird hey? I think so. It is very disappointing when this cranial cavity of mine is largely a cavity instead of housing a brain. Even worse when I'm in the clinic. My ability to explain stuff to patients now reduced to 2% people! I can't speak. I'm a no brainer. My thoughts aren't organized at all. Actually I dont think I have any thoughts at all. What's going on? I dont have any interest about anything in life, not even the interest to have own thought and voicing it out. Is this some sort of neuro-degradation pathology? Look how my sentences are retarded. See what i mean?
Anyways. My point is, I have a story. Because i cannot think, anyone is welcome to come up with pengajaran from the story ok? (it's a deal). I had to change my partner for 3 weeks for hospital rotation some few weeks ago. I normally pair up with Ms MC, but she had to swap with Mr IK for some reason. So I had to pair up with a guy partner which i'm not used to. Boy, God knows what a mental torture it was for me. Coz it was a guy, I could not be the usual cheerful (as if) self, and chirpy as how i normally am with girlfriends. So that's my definition of a mental torture. IK being IK, i was at my wit's end and could only bersabar when we seemed to contradict all the time, and him being a true Martian and me being a true Venusian we snapped at each other whenever opportunities arised especially at the end of those long days when we had to stay for on-call till 930 at night. I came home feeling drained and horrible and stressed and dreading the next day when I would have to face him again. I longed for my usual partner.
Then there was this one day. We had to travel to Footscray for a clinic session. We finished at about 430-445 and i still hadnt made Asr. I was hoping that we could catch the bus on time and I can pray at home. Long story cut short; we could not find the bus stop heading to the city and spent 15mins walking around in frenzy looking for the bus stop. When we finally found it, there was about 15-20mins left before Asr finishes. I know I wouldnt be able to make it. So I told him:
Me : I have to pray now or else I wont be able to make it on time. I'll just go to that corner over there (looked over to the dodgy looking car park with lotsa curries roaming around.was feeling a bit insecured) and pray. If the bus comes, you can go.
IK : No. I'll watch over you and your bag.
Me : Thanks.
So he stayed near me when I spread my Melbourne uni jacket on the ground and made Asr in between cars. (huish alhamdulillah ade wudhu lagi). So there he stood looking to the left and right every now and then (like a bodyguard) for the owners of the car that might return when i was praying.
Me : Thanks. U'll get your share.
IK : (looking totally opposite to his confident i-am-the-person-in-charge look) Share? Dont even have much of an investment to begin with.
Yes. He's a muslim. Though he calls himself a muslim by name, he still calls himself a muslim though. For some reason I was thankful that the person i paired up with that day was a muslim. He understood how important praying is for me, and what it means to not to miss it and to have to do it even if it means to do it in between cars at a smelly car park with the fear of being ran over at anytime (exeggerated). I found this thankful feeling deep in my spleen that have never had with my non-muslim girl partner eventhough she never snapped at me and is nice and sweet all the time. Thank you Allah for still making me appreciate my sis/bro in islam more than the others.
